Morbid Hate  Hateful Hope
by Calvusfelix
Summary: An Easterling soldier of the house of Bor is babbling after the Great defeat of the Union of Meadhros as his life fades away. Slightly AU. Professor Tolkien owns the Silmarillion.


_It was the year of the sun 473. A great battle was ending. A wounded Easterling soldier lay among the scattered corpses of Elves, Edain, Easterlings, Orcs, and Dwarves, the aftermath of a successful rearguard action by the forces of Lord Maedhros in the Gap of Maglor. He is slowly bleeding to death, awaiting his fate and pondering things. He is of a house allied with the House of Bor, and has paid for that alliance. He laments his fate, curses the Valar, and mourns the fate of the lords he had followed, babbling to himself about things he knows to be true, things he wants to be true, things he hopes are true…_

"Happy are you now, exalted ones, sitting on your lofty throne?

The exiled Noldor has lost the war against one

Who once was one of your own!

The Northern Prophesy now drinks its fill

Of tears unnumbered and a sea of blood

Beleriand will soon drown in a flood

Of pain and misery that the dark lord will unleash

And few will ever again know the bliss of peace!

For the exiles and their allies

Your cold words left no other destiny.

The Aman Teleri now must be free

Of the grief they suffered so long ago!

The vile Noldor "murderers and robbers"

Have now fallen forever under doom's shadow!

The Noldor will now face the same

Hurt and despair they had wrought

When at Alqualonde they had fought

To despoil the mariners of Olwe.

Surely now, there is no limit to the dark lords mirth!

How many Hildor, Quendi and Naugrim skulls

Will now adorn his mighty hearth

In his throne room below Thangorodrim?

Who is now left to plot and strive and dream

To bring about the downfall of Morgoth?

Justice the Teleri may have gotten, but at what cost?

Who in Beleriand now will take up the sword?

And fight on for a cause now forever lost?"

"Why must you be so cruel?

Can you not show the exiles and their allies some mercy?

Not all in this battle were guilty of the crimes of Alqualonde!

From that high mountaintop this how can you fail to see?

When the battle hung in balance

Where were the eagles of Manwe?

O watchful guardians of North, what held you back?

Courage you have, strength you do not lack

Surely you could have beaten back Morgoth's last attack!

What has made you battle shy?

With the Eagles aid we could have won a victory

That would have saved countless innocents

Who surely now will pay the price of our defeat

Etched into fate by the Valar curse

And spawned by Noldor pride and Easterling treachery

Unless salvation comes through some miraculous feat.

Oh mighty Valar, once an Eagle had saved an exiled prince

Little direct aid to the exiles you have given since

Could you not but decree this small mercy

That the Eagles speed to our aid to redress the treachery

That swelled Angband's might and forever marred Atani Pride

The Eagles could have turned the tide and the Eldar would win day

How could that be worse then what is now upon us?

Or does your keen eyes see a worse fate if the Noldor had won this War?

How can that be so? How can you let that be?

Once spoken, is there no lifting the curse?"

"Why the Atani join with the exiles, does the all knowing Valar ever ask?

Because of that friendship Men now are brought to task!

Painfully your voices in the wind and water now whispers

"For that allegiance to the exiles must you pay the price with blood and tears

For any who follow Feanor or his seven fallen sons

This is what our pitiless doom always demands!

As the Atani chose to ignore our warning and thus rebelled against us

Joined the exiles in their doomed quest

Knowing well the fate they would never best

So you now number among those damned by the curse.

And with the Noldor you must suffer

What the Northern Prophesy has to offer

A bounty of pain, false hope, misery and despair."

The joys of life now fade as a life full of strife

Wraps around the damned like a shroud!

Like the house of Feanor, the Valar are also bound

By the doom spoken in the wastes of Aman

And also by the music they had played

Beyond time, before Arda had been made.

To all beings still opposing Morgoth in Beleriand

To the doomed no direct aid the Valar can lend

Until some fated event or some omen comes!"

"But why must that be so?

What else could we mortals have done?

Where was the Valar when Men first awoke?

Did you ever come to show us the way?

Or keep Men from going astray?

For the firstborn your bounty once knew no end!

For the Mortals what aid did the Valar send?

The firstborn get to live among you

Yet none of you ever came among us!

You treat us like we are tainted by some curse!

Who was there guiding our path?

The grim Naugrim and the care free Avari!

The Powers left us to our own devices

To live our lives according to our virtues and vices

Never telling us the choices

We can or would be called to make!

So how are we to know right from wrong?

How could we trust the words of those who let one of their own

Make war unmolested on hapless innocents?

Beings who sit and watch safely from afar

When our lives could have been snuffed away

As the dark lord did as he willed

Who was there trying to block his way?

It was the exiled Noldor and their struggle

That had sheltered us from certain doom.

Should we have questioned what they have done or why they war

Or join the ongoing struggle?

Or question their motives and deeds sitting afar – just like the Valar?

Oh mighty Valar, you should know in Hildor hearts

There is but one answer,

Join those who with blood and guts

Had kept danger away from our doors

Because that is the path of honor.

Or do we flee before the horror that devours

All that we hold dear?

And yet you never came to us

To warn us of what should not be

Help us to clearly see

This would cause our downfall

With those already doomed by your decree."

"No epilogue marking their success will follow

The shocking prelude Feanorians had sung

At Alqualonde when their journey had barely begun

At the beginning of the quest so noble fated to be full of sorrow

It is like trying to touch the sky, without wings trying to fly

Or reaching to sail among the Valar lit stars!

Win a war against one who had once sat among the Valar?

Their grief and hate has driven the seven sons far

Down the path of misery and madness!

In the path of vengeance Valar cursed fate can be such a cruel mistress

Dangling the nectar of success in front, giving but a sip of what might be

To the forsaken travelers in an endless desert seeking a miracle

To save their souls from a fate far worse then death

From a doom sworn in haste, then cursed into certain fate

Which now will pursue the seven sons to Namo and his hall's gate

Who, never knowing when the cause was lost

Push on towards their goal at whatever the cost

Finding but a mirage, drawing them on

Keeping them in pursuit after all hope has gone

Fanning the ambers of hope into a roaring flame

So the thirst for success eggs them to seek far and wide

Then when all seems possible, they can but taste their dream

intoxicating them, filling their parched hearts

With a whiff of the sweet taste of success

And as they begin to feel the relief

To be free of their eternal burden and grief

At that moment they find to their distress

Their works shattering, their path again twisting

Throwing them in a pit of dark despair once again.

They again and again find the curse at play

Making them do things foul, dark and cruel

Matching the deeds of the dark lord

But who in Arda has the strength to fight

The will of the noble Valar?

What else can the doomed Seven do?

Know their deeds may be evil but some good may come too

From their blood, toil and tears?

Hope that if the Valar is cruel that the One may hear

And find ways to show mercy and interfere

For the fallen ones on a fools quest?

Oh Valar do not forget the one who gave all that now you rule!

He need but think and all you hold dear will forever change

To the all mighty I now pray, do not let the seven go astray!

Courage, hope and foresight you give to my lords

So their deeds now hasten the dark ones fall! Show the proud ones who it is who is king of all! It is the one, not the wise fool Manwe or the arrogant Melkor!"

Shape the future so when the dark one meets his end

My lords also have a vital part to play!

Just like the Valar make their deeds fail,

Make Morgoths doom come because the seven had failed."


End file.
